Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
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I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
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Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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