He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
