To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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