Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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