I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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