FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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