the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
