Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
