I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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