of course. lets lasso hookers.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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