Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
