well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
