first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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