I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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