That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Im part way to drunk.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
