Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
