What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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