Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
