Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize