What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
