I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
