Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
