This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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