wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
