weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
