Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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