naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
