I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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