for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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