at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
