Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
