ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Never underestimate the power of titties
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