just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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