you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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