you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
