she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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