When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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