The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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