White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
