this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
