After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
