um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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