Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
