oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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