just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?