Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
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she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
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Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10