you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wish you could order shots online.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Of course I have a pirate flag
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.