I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
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Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So much puke
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Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.