Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
