In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
