Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
