I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
