So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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