I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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