when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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