Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
