Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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