When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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