i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
