The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
