sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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