If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize